So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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