I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
