I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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