I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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