So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
