How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
