guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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