The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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