BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
