She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
smell my finger.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
