Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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