i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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