yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize