If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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