oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
