Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
