I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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