Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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