She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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