I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
