She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize