There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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