let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
