Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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