Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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