Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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