So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
