There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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