my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
