i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize