he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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