ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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