He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Barsexuality is the new black.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
