I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
