she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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