You're so nebulous sometimes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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