as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
