Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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