I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the condom got lost in my hair
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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