HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
