so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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