sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
