Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
