No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
