I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
a search helicopter?!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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