Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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