He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize