i just wanna soil my oats bro
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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