TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
