I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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