I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
