This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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