i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I want to fling myself into the sun
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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