They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
