I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
