Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
