Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
