I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize