So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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