Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
