you would pick up someone in the library
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize