She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
