Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
