So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
