My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
