Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
